Chapter II
I realized for the first time that I must have a say in my future. Looking up at Aunt Rachel, I said, “I am not interested in studying any further. I am going to work and live with you. If Lady Ashford won’t employ me, I can always find some work somewhere else. Maybe you too should cut off from the services of Lady Ashford and we’ll together thank her for her kindness and help she’s done to us, particularly me and we’ll look for a house and we’ll live together”.
“No”, Aunt Rachel shouted even before I could finish; “How could you ever imagine cutting off from Lady Ashford, forever?. If you ever feel indebted to her, respect her wishes and act accordingly. It’s for your good; she wants you to study further”.
I thought for a while; if I could only meet the Lady, I can explain everything to her. “I’ve got to see the Lady”, I said, “She’s got to see me if she is really interested in me, maybe it’s the first and probably the last meeting, but it will help me when I explain”.
Aunt Rachel immediately cut in, with a strange calm voice, “David, listen carefully, you are always welcome to send messages and she’ll consider each one of them carefully, but forget meeting her”.
I was terribly upset with this and didn’t like a bit, the manner in which Aunt Rachel was acting; must be she’s benefited in not bring us together. I lost all my control when I started, “I understand, you don’t want me to see the Lady. You are surely benefited by this and scarred that a possible meeting would expose you. How can I believe my messages to have reached her all these years, when I didn’t send it directly? Its strange I hardly thought of this before”. I paused a little and then continued, “I know what I’ll do, I have none in this world and I trust none; so I’ll live alone, the way I like and you needn’t visit me anymore”. As for the kindness and help, you and Lady Ashford have shown to me, this orphan is ever indebted to both of you. Please pass this last message of mine to Lady Ashford”.
I stopped, and there was silence for a considerably long time. Aunt Rachel looked at me, her face gone pale and her eyes filled with tears. I starred back at her with a blank mind as she came close to me and placed both her hands on my shoulders. “Things cannot be postponed any further”, she said with a same calm voice, “You’ve grown a lot these fourteen years and nothing can stop you from getting what you seek. You got every right to question about your own welfare and each of these has to be answered. You can meet Lady Ashford at this address soon after your exams”.
She then scribbled something on a notebook which I didn’t bother to look. Listening to Aunt Rachel now brought back memories of the fourteen years with her. She was at my bedside for days together, when I was sick. I can’t think of a single occasion when she was hard with me, at least not half as hard as I’ve just been. Why did I ever speak like this?; I felt ashamed.
“ I am sorry, I shouldn’t have spoken like that”.
“Its alright son”, she said clearing her tears, “Maybe you can see me too when you visit Lady Ashford, but now its time for me to leave”; and she prepared to leave. It was strange that she wanted to leave so soon for she had never done like this before. I picked the notebook and read the address and as I raised my eyes from the notebook, I saw Aunt Rachel starring at me through the closed gates. Seeing me, she waved her hand and I waved her back.
My exams came to an end on the fourth day of Aunt Rachel’s departure. I spent these days with a troubled mind and had a great difficulty in preparing for my exams. Several thoughts ran through my mind; I must be a distant relative of Lady Ashford, if not, why does she be so kind to me and yet want to avoid seeing me. Why did Aunt Rachel permit me to see the Lady for the first time in fourteen years and that too without her consent?. The more I thought of this, the more desperate I was to know something. But I’ll have to wait till Sunday, the day I plan to leave the orphanage and seek the Lady and Aunt Rachel. I’ve informed Father Mathews of this and fixed up Friday for his ‘Parting advice’.
If Father Mathews knew more about me and my links with Lady Ashford, he’ll surely tell me on Friday for ‘parting advice’ is a service where the Father not only gives his advice on your future, but also tells you everything about your past, to the best of his knowledge. There is very little chance of Father Mathews knowing Lady Ashford for I’ve never heard him mention that name or make any reference to her. He would probably not be able to give me a hint for this is surely beyond the limits of a person who maintain the histories of about a hundred boys each year. I didn’t look upon Friday as being important.
It was Friday. My friends had already started leaving the orphanage after meeting Father Mathews. Many of them had succeeded in finding work or getting sponsorship for higher studies while a few had decided to serve the orphanage. I dressed up and proceeded to Father Mathew’s room. He was busy writing something when he saw me; and said, “Come in David, sit down”. I went up to him and occupied a chair on the other side of the table, facing him.
