MISSING RING
Nisha – Trichy
One afternoon, a young girl, made a frantic call to her parents, from her school, ‘Dad my gold ring is missing, please check my room’
Five minutes later, she again called him and asked ‘Did you find it?’
‘No it’s not there’, her father replied
‘Then please check the dressing table’
Five minutes later, she was on line again, when her sweating father answered, ‘It’s not in the dressing table. I am searching the bathrooms and your mom is searching your bedroom’
‘It’s alright dad, I’ve got it’ she said ‘It was on my left hand’
BUSINESS STRATEGY
Jaswinder – Ludhiana
An excited teenage girl came home with an aquarium tank and a pair of gold fishes. Her dad was glad to see the new interest in his daughter.
‘Nice to see you grow fishes. I never knew you had a passion for fishes’, he told her.
‘It’s not a passion, dad’, she replied, ‘Its big money business’
‘Big money business in gold fish?’ her dad was surprised.
‘Oh, dad; sometimes you need to learn by yourself. Do you at least know about getting pearl from oysters?’
TROUBLING ASSET
Rebecca Selvi – Madurai
The district football league final was just over and the home team played disappointingly; and lost. The captain in particular put up a poor show. He looked so lost for the entire match that many guessed something was wrong with him. It was finally the awards ceremony.
However the captain of the losing side was still on the field wandering aimlessly.
His team kept wondering as to what he was doing over there. They shouted and called him.
Slowly he dragged himself out of the field, his head still kept low.
‘What’s wrong Peter?. Not well?’, his teammates enquired.
‘Nothing much. As soon as the match started, and when I was rushing with the ball, I saw a gold chain for sure. I wanted to look for it, but then keeping with the spirit of the game, I had immediately decided to forget it’.
THE PROMISE
Dilip Kumar – Kolkotta
The higher secondary exam results were published and a jubilant daughter rushed in, ‘Dad the results have come out, you remember your promise?’
‘Yes darling, I had promised you a gold bangle if you pass; but forgive me, I won’t be able to honor that now’
The seemingly understandable daughter sighed and said, ‘Don’t worry dad, I know your difficulties and I won’t ask you for one. And believe me dad; you are still keeping up with your word’.
UNBELIEVABLE STORY
Kishore – Ooty
An army officer was briefing National Cadet Corps cadets on one of the regular trekking camps. He was emphasizing on the importance of will power.
‘In the army’, he told them, ‘The will power is all that which makes the difference. When I joined the army about twenty years back, I was attached to the Rajasthan regiment. One day when I was returning from the base all alone in my motorcycle, I noticed two infiltrators across the desert. I immediately hid amidst the sands and radioed for help. Soon a helicopter came and I jumped about 15 feet to catch it. Hanging singlehandedly from the helicopter, I searched for about two hours’
The officer continued to sing his bravery, ‘I didn’t find them and I let go of the helicopter. I then started my bike, but it was out of petrol. I pushed the bike for about fifteen km over the desert sands when I thought of a camel. However I didn’t have money to hire one, so I gave the man my gold ring and took a camel. I went on for about seven hours on camelback, when I met them. On seeing me they happily surrendered. This is called will power and bravery’
The cadets all listened to his story and looked at each other, and smiled. One of them spoke, ‘Sir your story doesn’t look believable’
‘Yes, of course’, another cadet quickly added, ‘I don’t think anyone would trade his ring for a camel, and that too in Rajasthan where camels are plenty’
PRECAUTIONARY MEASURE
Karthikeyan – Bhopal
A young man once walked into a north Mumbai salon for a shampoo wash and dye.
Happy with the job, he settled the bill and was to leave when he made a stark
discovery — his fifty gram gold chain was missing.
It was soon a commotion with charges and counter charges of theft and conspiracy.
In the midst of this commotion, he accidentally felt his trouser pockets and recollected that he had kept it there for safety and it was still there.
‘It’s alright’, he said, ‘I knew I’ll have this kind of unpleasantness here; that’s why I had removed it as a precaution’.
RUNAWAY GHOST
Thomas Pallickal – Kollam
After a special mass at the college chapel, Jacob a second year student sought the help of the chaplain.
‘Father help me to get back my gold chain. Someone stole it from my room yesterday’.
‘Well did anyone come to your room yesterday?’
‘Yes father, David and Philip were in my room from six to dinner time’
‘What were you all doing?’
‘Sorry father. But it was David’s birthday and we were celebrating it with drinks’
‘Drunkards and thieves, what kind of people are you all. Anyway let me see what I can do’
The next day David rushed to the chapel screaming, ‘Father last night a ghost had come to my room and demanded Jacob’s gold chain. I was terrified and denied taking it and the ghost left only after being convinced’.
Two days later Philip came rushing to the chapel, ‘Father, the ghost had come to my room at night and threatened me, asking me to return Jacob’s gold chain’.
‘What happened then?’, the chaplain enquired.
‘I returned it; yes father, I am the thief. I had stolen the chain from Jacob’s room’
‘Never steal again, it’s a crime and a sin too’, the chaplain advised. He then called Jacob and said, ‘The Holy Ghost had taken the chain from Philip and would soon return it to you’
A week passed but the Holy Ghost failed to turn up. An impatient Jacob called on the chaplain again to express his disappointment.
The chaplain immediately called Philip and asked, ‘Tell us clearly what happened that night with the Holy Ghost. Don’t hide anything’
‘Actually father, when I returned Jacob’s chain, the ghost told me that it knew that I had more stolen jewels. I quickly returned all the stolen jewels I had with me’
‘That’s it. That’s it’ the chaplain said looking relieved, ‘You had so much of stolen jewels with you, which made the Holy Spirit change its mind’
DIRTY HABIT
Ravindran Nair – Chennai
The cook of a government student’s hostel was at his wit’s end looking for his gold chain. A few students too joined him to look for his lost chain.
After a considerable time, the search was finally abandoned, with the cook lamenting, ‘It’s well over five grams and easily worth five thousand rupees’
Late that night, a couple of students came drunk and banged the hostel gates, and the cook set out to open it.
When the gates were opened, one of them blinked at the cook and said, ‘We are sad you lost your gold chain, but then you have a very dirty habit of exaggerating’.
INTRUSION EXCUSE
Anitha James – Pune
College going Ralph once brought his friends to his house and proudly told them of his grandma’s gold jewels kept in her room. Well accustomed to stealing, his friends asked him to steal the jewels.
‘Come on’, Ralph told them, ‘I can’t steal them from my own grandma’
‘Why not, nothing wrong in it’, the friends insisted.
Ralph looked confused, ‘Maybe I’ll try, but dad may drop in while I’m in her room searching for the safe keys and I won’t be able to reply him’.
‘Just tell him you are looking for grandma’s spectacles’, one of his friends suggested.
‘Grandma’s spectacles! — That’s it. I should have said that. In my fright, I said I’m looking for grandma and he had asked me to never step in her room again’.
THE RIGHT DEED
Sindhu – Chennai
After a Sunday evening mass, a teenage boy rushed to the pastor and said, ‘Father if I present a gold ring to a poor and a needy man, would that be right?’
‘Of course my son, you’ll find a place in heaven’
‘What if I steal a gold ring?’
‘Well you are a cursed one and would rot in hell’
‘But father, what if I steal a ring and present it?’
The speculative father thought for a moment and remarked slowly, ‘It’s a very tough question. I’ve got to see the ring to answer this’
EXPERT CALCULATIONS
Navneetha Kannan – Mumbai
The math’s teacher of a Government Higher Secondary School was unhappy when a group of boys reported late for the class.
‘Sorry sir, we went to collect details of the celebrations for tomorrow’, the boys reasoned.
‘Celebrations! Who is celebrating what?’, the teacher wanted to know.
‘The People’s Democratic Party — they are celebrating their twenty-fifth birth anniversary. They would be giving away one hundred gold coins to those who assemble tomorrow’.
‘My God! What a stupid lot you all are’, the teacher tried to educate them, ‘They just can’t give away one hundred gold coins. These party people are liars. See that you all come to class in time tomorrow’.
The next day all the students had come as instructed, but the math’s teacher wasn’t there.
After three hours he showed up, ‘Didn’t I tell you? They gave only for five people’.
SCHOLARLY DOUBT
Baswati – Kolkotta
The research students of the anthropology department of a reputed university once undertook a study tour to an African village, with the help of a local interpreter.
The students were introduced to the life and living of the tribal population. They lived in the village and closely observed the tribals and their way of living.
They lived with them for about a week, taking detailed notes of how they hunted, cooked, ate and slept. On the last day, just before their departure, the students had a final opportunity to directly interact with the tribals.
The head of the department asked the students to clarify any doubts, as they would not have the opportunity to talk to them again. Many students raised questions. Some wanted to have some details about marriage customs, some on children’s diet, some on puberty.
The department head appreciated the questions asked by his students. He was proud to be a heading the team which would soon be publishing its findings.
As students kept clarifying their doubts, the HOD spotted a hesitant Jancy who wasn’t sure whether to ask or not. He called her and said, ‘What’s wrong Jancy, shoot your question’
‘It’s alright sir, I have no questions’, Jancy said.
‘I know you want to ask something, but you are shying off. Better clear your doubts, you probably will never get to know that later on, Jancy’, the HOD reminded her.
The girl now became confident and spoke to the interpreter, ‘Given the beads and shells they wear, will they bother to pick up any gold ornaments if they ever find one?’
