The UK Prime Minister David Cameroon’s recent remark that ‘runaway dads’ need to be stigmatized like drink-drivers, might not have gone well with many single parents, but for sure reflects the anguish and concern of a society. His choice of words to reflect his thoughts were indeed harsh, when he said that these dads should feel the ‘full force of shame’.
Speaking to the Sunday Telegraph on the occasion of the Father’s Day, he said that it was unacceptable to force single mothers to bring up children on their own. The PM noted that the traditional family life was the cornerstone of the society, and that even when fathers had separated, they were obliged to ‘financially and emotionally’ support their children, spend time at them during weekdays, and take an interest on their education.
Cameroon showed that he was fully aware of the impact of father’s absence on the family, and called upon the society to stigmatize and make it clear that the behavior of runaway fathers wouldn’t be acceptable.
He said, “They need the message rammed home to them, from every part of our culture, that what they’re doing is wrong; that leaving single mothers, who do a heroic job against all odds, to fend for themselves, simply isn’t acceptable”.
Cameroon’s views were confronted by Erin Pizzey of the domestic violence charity, Refuge, who noted that fathers may not be with their children for several reasons, including that women folk won’t let them. He also noted that Cameroon forgot women who desert their children, ‘who are equally as feckless as men’, but we never talk about them.
Bob Greg from the single parenting portal ‘Only Dads’, noted that Cameroon’s views were too simple and that there were a host of other issues that prevent dads from having a complete relationship with their children. These according to him included cultural, financial, employment and legal issues.
Cameroon’s comments and the reaction from his political opponents highlight an issue of immense importance to children, how it is perceived and interpreted.
As Cameroon reiterated his determination to stick to his election promise of tax breaks for married couples, Labor Party shadow secretary Yvette Cooper described Cameroon’s views as being hollow. Cooper said Cameroon was enticing runaway dads by rewarding them with marriage tax breaks, while cutting tax credits for single mothers struggling with their children.
While the opponents of Cameroon have, and can get endless reasons to justify the free run of these runaway dads; the impact of these father’s action on the society is huge. The statistics from the American U.S.D.H.H.S., Bureau of the Census should cause these opponents to reconsider their support to runaway dads.
About 90% of the homeless and runaway children are from fatherless homes and 85% of children with behavior disorders come from fatherless homes. About 71% of pregnant teenagers lack a father and 63% of youths committing suicides come from these fatherless families.
Man had at one point of time, in his evolution, lived and roamed the forests just as animals today. The life of man had transformed while that of the rest is the same.
It is obvious that paternal instincts had been the same for all species corresponding to mammalia. But unfortunately these are beginning to change for men, given the changing sociology of man.
When Cameroon and his opponents blame each other for the policies, little do they realize that the topic transcends contemporary human understanding on the subject.
Runaway dads have indeed runaway to newer extremes. Alas paternal bonding, has never before been so doubted as it is today. The mother that bore the child has seen a bonding with the developing child for about ten months. But what about the dad?.
What are the factors that draws man to his child, to struggle against and fight the odds that strive to take away his child from him; rather than give up without a fight or even abandon it.
The point here is not what the woman does to the man to keep him away from the child. It is all about what he does to stay with his child.
The future course of action is all very important for the society. When dads runaway, they place enormous strain on the resources of the society. These dads for sure would mostly end up remarrying, squirting and deserting, whether tax breaks or not.
Sooner or later the society would debate whether vasectomy should be forced upon runaway dads. This would then be stigmatizing as Cameroon wanted. However forcing a man to take ownership of his child would do no justice too. Either way the society is a loser.
With runaway dads, man is only losing his fundamental identity; moving away from the characteristics of his species to another.
